LOCALadk Magazine

26 Spring 2020 LOCALadk Magazine LOCALadk Presenting to a packed auditorium of middle and high school students for two straight hours may sound like a night- mare, but to Tom Murphy, it's a dream come true. Tom, and his team at Sweethearts and Heroes, is dedicated to helping empower and inspire kids to feel better about themselves by giving them strategies and hope. At a recent Lake Placid presentation, not only did he have the students' unwavering attention, he ver y quickly earned their respect. The presentation opened with a video montage of tele- vised fights of a what appears to be a Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) champion, a tall, bald, strong, tattooed, and menac- ing-looking athlete who is clearly at the top of his game. As the clip ended, Tom walked onto the stage with his arms in the air— clearly the man featured in the videos—and immedi- ately had the attention of 362 young students. " We planned the presentation right before the holidays, which worried me since it is difficult to keep the students settled and on track that time of year," remarked Lake Placid Middle School Principal Theresa Lindsay. "Tom is charismatic, authentic and he shared a lot about who he is. The kids imme- diately embraced him as one of their own. He acknowledges them, how they are feeling, where they are, and gets inside their heads and their hearts," she added. High School Principal Tammy Casey, who had heard about Tom's presentations from friends in other school districts, said she was aware that the presentation was impactful. "He is engaging and dynamic and has a presence that makes you want to be around him," said Tammy. She described how in the halls throughout the day, the barrage of high-fives and fist pumps of approval from students slowed his pace. He had not earned celebrity status; instead, he was embraced as one of them. Like the hundreds of schools he visits annually, Tom was in Lake Placid as a motivational speaker to bring hope and tools to fight what he describes as "a war against hopelessness" in youth. Bullying, he explains, is a major contributor in caus- ing feelings of hopelessness—and it is the platform through which he connects with schools. Bullying is a per vasive epidemic, and the advent of cyber bullying has only increased the reach. Research has shown that childhood bullying behaviors presage an over whelming majority of suicides and attempted suicides. Suicide rates for children ages 10 to 14 is at an all-time high. Bullying is so per- vasive, destructive, and threatening that it is now illegal in all 50 states. Anti-bullying laws are intended to protect and put a stop to bullying. This means that schools are required by law to report, document, and investigate incidents. The challenge remains: how do you prevent it, and what can be done about it? This is why Tom's work is paramount. "Kids are trained on what to do in the ver y rare event of a fire. Ever yone can recite 'stop, drop and roll,' but they have no training on what to do regarding bullying," Tom explained. He went on to describe how kids today are emotionally and psychologically "on fire." Throughout the presentation, he offers kids, administrators, and teachers action-based, life-saving solutions he calls "Empathetic Fitness." Kids can work with simple tools repeatedly, to build a "mus- cle." Part of this muscle building includes finding comfort in being vulnerable. The assembly included powerful "bully drills" where student volunteers enacted a threatening sit- uation and were given concrete actions and words to solve the issue. This was both playful and effective. A teacher com- mented after ward, "There is so much talk about awareness, but this is unique because students leave with an action plan, knowing just what to do as the bully, the bullied, and the by- stander." Another part of the presentation included his team mem- ber Rick Yarosh. Rick is a retired U.S. Army Sergeant who was critically injured in Iraq. Rick's injuries left him fighting for his life and disfigured. Subsequently he became a victim of bullying, discrimination, and at one point in his recover y, hopelessness. He offers his stor y of physical and emotional recover y to give hope to others who may also be struggling with challenges. After the assembly, the programming expanded with class- room circles, where students were able to process what they learned and were given concrete action plans. These circles included small group discussions, additional bully drills and role-playing, and an introduction ABC action plan (see in- sert). "You can't just tell kids what to do and expect them to do it; you have to practice it over and over until it becomes a behavior," explained Tom. "Kids want to be empowered to do the right thing, but they don't always know how to do that." On a Mission for Our Kids—Sweethearts and Heroes by Mimi Wacholder

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