LOCALadk Magazine

Spring 2020 LOCALadk Magazine 27 LOCALadk Throughout the day Tom was omnipresent at the school. "A highlight for me is hanging with the kids in the cafeteria— learning from them and paying attention, really paying at- tention," Tom said. "I am never going to be a kid again, but if I can get on their level and make them feel heard through play that's free of fear and anxiety, then I can make a difference — yeah, that's my jam." What Tom has also come to learn is that ever y time he goes into a school, about two to three other schools will call. To date, he and his partners have presented to nearly two million students. Tom has a bachelor's degree in human psychology and has spent more than two decades training with some of the best coaches in the world through his amateur All American wres- tling and MMA careers. However, what makes Tom most ef- fective in his role isn't his formal training or education, but how he connects with and relates to the kids. He shares openly that he struggled with academics and was one of "those kids" that was always get- ting into trouble and struggling in school. Perhaps what was most formidable in leading Tom onto this path was his up- bringing in Philadelphia, where his par- ents literally took people off the streets into their makeshift mission home. His home was a safehaven to countless at-risk youth. "The empathy I saw my parents display for people boggles my mind," Tom emphasized. Sweethearts and Heroes (see insert) is the brainchild of Tom and his partner, Jason Spector. Jason is a South Lake George-based physical education teacher of 22 years, and a former college wresting teammate of Tom. They credit themselves for pushing each other to become the best versions of themselves both on and off the mat. Jason knew Tom was offering sports teams motivational presentations based on some of the strategies and wisdom he had collected from the great coaches in his life. He is a natural mentor and coach and passionate about helping kids be inspired to be on the right path. In 2006, when an Olym- pic speaker scheduled for Jason's school cancelled at the last minute, he had Tom come in and present to the 900 students. "Tom is the Tony Robbins of empathy. When he speaks, ev- er yone listens, and he is always making an impact and a dif- ference in people's lives," remarked Jason. "I knew from that first presentation that this is what he was meant to do, and of course, before the day was done he had already booked another event." After that, Tom continued to book engagements, balanc- ing full-time work as a rail traffic control specialist and rais- ing his four children. In 2014, he was presenting to a group of teachers about the hopelessness the kids of today are feeling and ways to teach them explicitly what the expected behavior is. He later described a life-changing moment when a teacher in Greenwich, New York, stopped him in the hall, shook his hand, and covered it with his other hand, and held just a little longer than usual. He made eye contact with Tom and said, "I have been listening to presentations for 20 years, but because of what you shared, this year's going to be dif- ferent." The weight of this passing conversation impressed Tom and kept him awake most of the night considering how he would leave his sixteen-year job, six-figure salar y to commit himself full-time to his passion of helping kids. Two days lat- er he gave his notice and hasn't looked back. Today, he lives with his family in St. Albans, Vermont, and spends over 200 days a year on the road speaking to stu- dents, faculty, and parents all over the countr y. He does presentations as well as follow-up educational programming. His work is at once exhausting and re- warding, daunting and inspiring. But to anyone who has the privilege of watch- ing him present or speaking with him in person, undoubtedly his light is on—he is doing his life's work. It is typical at most schools that one or more students will wait to speak with him at the end of the assembly and thank him personally, and often tell him something ver y personal. He always listens attentively, makes time for this, and follows up. He is making a difference and offering concrete solu- tions. Teachers write him letters, par- ents reach out via email for advice. He is always humbled, and reassured he is on the right path. Something that Tom treasures and keeps as a constant re- minder of the importance of his work is a note a young stu- dent wrote in pencil on lined paper that reads, "I just wanted to thank you for taking the time out of your day to come and teach us on making a better change in our school. I know it seems like no one cares, but I do. And so do my friends. This could change the world," signed 'Anonymous.' https://www.sweetheartsandheroes.com ABC of Bullying (for the Bystander) Away, take them away from the situation Buddy, treat them like your buddy Confront the situation—use your own unique superpower Sweethearts: The carriers of HOPE (Hold On Possibilities Exist) Not nec- essarily life or death situa- tions, but staying with any- thing that gets difficult. Heroes: People willing to do things that other peo- ple aren't willing to do —this takes a tremendous amount of courage —to help people who are different. Defining Sweethearts and Heroes:

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